Life in a Storm

“Take that stick and shove it up your ass!” The Captain screamed. The spray from the foamy waves that were bettering the ship were no help: everyone’s mood was in the shitter. Gloomy and hungry the crew went back to their duties. The stormy weather had lasted for days at this point, and when Busan […] more…

Phase 3: Relationships

If one morning I woke up and was a man, but with my brain, what would I do?Phase 3: RelationshipsIt’s later that evening. We’re sitting at a window in a pizzaria in midtown. The date with Jane went pretty well. She’s pretty and funny and I like her. All I could think about was how […] more…

Phase 2: Society.

If one morning I woke up and was a man, but with my brain, what would I do? Phase 2: Society. I’m on the subway. I’m sitting like I would if I were a female: legs crossed at the ankles, shoulders hunched in, and I’m picking my nails. I realize, as I look at the […] more…

Phase 1: The Anatomy.

If one morning I woke up and was a man, but with my brain, what would I do? Phase 1: The Anatomy. First off, I’d probably wake up with an erection. Oh Cool! Now I get to wack off! I’ve never wacked off before, so it’ll take me a few times to figure out what […] more…

Landing in the Windy City

Chicago spread out under me, in its brown hues, and went on for miles; stretching its long fingers into straight-arrow train tracks which disappeared in the horizon. I would have gawked more had the turbulence getting onto the landing strip not made me want to start praying for my life. The plane was shaking violently, […] more…

Romance Novels

I waited until the apartment was clear. Mom had stepped out for a couple hours and Dad wasn’t supposed to be home until 6-ish. My sister was too young to even know what I was doing. The preverbal coast, was clear. I calmly walked over to the large couch that sat in our small New […] more…

Dominos Returns

I got down to the station. A big black guy wearing an MTA vest with a bored look on his face waved in my direction. “No Trains” he said. I stare at him dumbly. “No 7 Train.” He repeats. “No 7 train?” I repeat. “No 7 Train.” Right! No “7” train! OKAY!! I’ll just wait […] more…

Subway Flirt

Me. New Haircut. Feeling cute and flirty (I hate the adjectives cute and flirty, but I feel like them despite myself.) “N” train platform. Me. Walking down the edge with a little bounce in my step. Running my hands through my shorter and lighter hair. Him. On the platform edge. He’s looking out for an […] more…

Jealousy

JEALOUSY [Jel-Low-See]: Jealousy is a normal human emotion that we all experience. But, when bouts of anger and seething hatred escalate into Jealousy attacks, it may be a real problem and strain on healthy mental functioning. Jealousy attacks include: envy, guilt, frustration, irritation, and jealous fits of tearful drunken sobbing. There is excellent treatment for Jealousy, […] more…

Bending the Rules

The small benefits to working the “system” in my favor make my toes curl in delight. I know a couple people who can conjure a first class airline ticket out of thin air, who can walk into a concert at Carnegie Hall and pick whatever seat they wish to sit in, and the person who […] more…

Ode to Starucks

Oh, Starbucks. Without you, where would us poor New Yorker’s be? Really. Where would the poor New Yorkers be? Because they are all in your stores, using your bathrooms and napping on your tables. And who can blame them, really? I am no different; I buy my coffee, I sit in a corner (preferably with […] more…

Coming in to Sound

I took the E train into Manhattan this morning. I usually have to take this train as an alternative to the more convenient 7 that is useless on the weekends in the winter (ya’ know, construction and stuff). I was really sleepy from the night before which consisted of a lot of restlessness. The train […] more…