Megawatt Smile

This bar is fun. Cheap food, great friends here… Oh. Wait. What and Who is that? Hi gorgeous. You’ve got a megawatt smile. Oh. Your girlfriend lives in Yakutsk… How… interesting. Do you see each other often? No? Only once every 2 years? Oh, I see. That makes total sense. Haha! You were a fat kid!? […] more…

Relax

“Nat, just let it go.” I have always had difficulties with “Letting Go” of issues. What the hell does “Letting Go” even mean? I’m suddenly confronted with an issue; a MAJOR issue! An issue that trumps all other problems. I think about it constantly. I obsess over the possibilities of what could go wrong, what could […] more…

Life in Sense-Mode

Looking at a clean surface in a bathroom. No dust. No grime. No sludge. No hair. Just: a clean surface. So clean, I can put my toothbrush down on it and not worry about gross bacteria. Burning my fingers as I pop a piece of still sizzling bacon into my mouth. Being covered in sweat […] more…

Philosophies

I imagine myself in two different pieces, not that the pieces are separate or that there are different personalities, none of that, instead I imagine my physical body which is the one that handles day-to-day wear and tear and then there is the “Other Self” or, what I refer to as: Emotional Body. Sometimes, and […] more…

The Love Note

“I love you” was all it said. It was written with a careful hand on red construction paper and cut out in the shape of a heart. Attached to the love note was a box of candy hearts. The message was in my locker, tucked in on top of my book bag. I stared at […] more…

The Comic Books

Zombies were my biggest fear in my teens and early twenties. I would lie awake and imagine my world crumbling under the corruption of death. My recurring nightmares were always of me running away from a hoard of biters who had once been my family. I’d imagine zombies in the woods when I went upstate, […] more…

An Argument With Myself

Me 1: Stop grabbing at your stomach and looking in the mirror! You have more important things to think about other than how fat you think you look. Me 2: Oh but I used to be so skinny… Me 1: You didn’t think so then either.  Me 2: No! No, I did… 1: Nope. You […] more…

The Proposal

“…And I just want to say that I want to spend the rest of my life doing that with you.” He concluded his monologue, as in slow-mo he hopped down from the podium he’d been standing on, walked up to his Girlfriend and proposed in front of a room full of audience members who had […] more…

Awkward Friend(relation)ship?

Oh, Fuck. I just said something that really hurt you, and I really said it unintentionally! I promise! Oy. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. But, I won’t say sorry, I’ll just back peddle and try to compliment you a lot. Does that feel better? Can you tell I feel bad for making you feel bad without saying […] more…

Negativity

The dark and negative side of things suck. I consider myself a glass half-full person, so when I find myself pulled into a fighting match where I beat myself up in my head, I have to realize that that is not who I define myself as: that it is a temporary cloud burst which will […] more…

Reflective Walk

I walked past the houses lined up along the promenade at 2:30am. I was the only person on the street. I had just walked inland from the beach where I had been hanging out with the last visitors of the HUGE party my family threw last weekend called the Hoover Hootenanny. I was walking back […] more…

My One-Year-Old

Today marks the one year anniversary of my blog! Thank you, thank you. Yes, it’s been quite the year, really. If one were to quantify this all in terms of men passing in, passing through, and passing out there wouldn’t be a whole lot to this blog. I feel really happy with where my mind has […] more…