Hook-up Culture

I’ve never really understood the hook-up culture of New York, but now that I am a player in it I realize there is nothing to really understand, per se. I find that I was a pretty timid player in that game of monstrous proportions: “What? You want me to come back to your place? Um… […] more…

Recording Everything

For 4 months I kept a bar graph in the back of my journal and at the end of every day I would record how many times I had had sex with my boyfriend. I’ve kept a very detailed account of everything I spent money on, everyday, for the past 4 years, with a break […] more…

A Big Fight

I was standing in the kitchen getting told to really lay into him. We were going to fight like the world was coming to an end. I felt myself get tense, like a hammer was about to come down. I reflected on any real-life scenarios in which I really had to raise my voice and […] more…

Courage

Courage in myself is verb: an action I take (or don’t). How do I confront someone about things that happened in the past? How do I broach a subject that makes me nervous? How do I admit that I was wrong, or they were wrong or we were wrong or right or stupid or hurtful […] more…

The Text

Me. Cutie. Bar. Drinks. Talking. Music. Laughing. Touching. Flirting. Kissing. Then: nothing. I think: Meh, Whatever. Plenty ‘O fish in the sea. Two weeks go by… Me. Apple picking. Hanging with friends. Laughing. Bike riding. Improvising. “I don’t care, la la la… Boys are stupid, la la la…” …Wait a minute. I just got a text, hold […] more…

The Pee Puddle

I was standing behind the door of the locker room in the darkness, waiting with short shaky breaths to see if I’d be caught. I could see through the small crack between the open door and the door-frame as a means of getting a bit of a head’s up before the “monster” came into the […] more…

Crying

I was talking with my close friends the other day about crying. Really crying. Allowing the tears to come, and the wails to erupt, and the sobs to rack the body, and the emotional traumas to bellow out of the soul in the form of hiccups and snot. The last time I really cried like […] more…

Birthday

It’s the last day of being 24. Most frequently asked question: “What’ll you do for your 25th birthday?” If I could do anything, I’d go to London and spend two weeks partying over there. I’d make a trip to Paris and spend a couple days there as well. European flights of fancy are not in […] more…

The Make-Out

I found myself staring at my cellphone and wondering what the hell to say back to his statement. How does one respond to a statement? I wished you well with what you had planned for the day, and you responded, a few hours later, with a statement. So… Ball’s in my court and I feel […] more…

Batman vs. Broadway

“What is the similarity between a white woman and a tampon? …They’re both stuck up cunts.” The whole audience moaned and gaped at the obscene joke. I gasped and then chuckled, reveling in the collective: “Oh, shit!” moment I was sharing with the hundreds of strangers watching the same show. My buddy laughed, his giggles […] more…

10,000 Babies

I’ve been seeing babies everywhere. Little babies jumping in puddles, toddlers holding Mommy’s hands, infants swaddled in body wraps wound around Daddy’s stomach, little kids squealing with delight at a new toy or candy on the subway, and so forth. I don’t think I have ever seen so many babies in my life! Or… noticed […] more…

Burning Up Old Memories

It was later in autumn; the nights that start to really bite and nip at the holes in your clothes, and the coolness that creeps up on you when you think that the day was warm enough to merit wearing that light sweater and capris. I was a junior in college out on Long Island […] more…