Quitting Facebook

What would it be like if everyone had a “Burn Book” they kept as a constant reminder that they did indeed make incredibly dumb choices in their lives involving other people? This Burn Book would be a photo album of sorts, kept up to speed with every guy (or girl) ever kissed or fooled around […] more…

Carnegie Hall

We sat all the way on the right of the house, but close enough to see all the whites of their eyes. My mom and I took our seats next to an enormous woman dressed in sweats and wearing two pigtails, who immediately launched into all of her facts about orchestral music (I had no […] more…

Girl Walks In To A Bar…

She’s looking to learn something, maybe. Or, she’s bored. Or, she’s heard great things about this bar and figured she would try it out. She sits down at a stool and looks at the menu written in chalk on the board. That beer looks good, that scotch looks yummy, etc, etc. A Second girl walks […] more…

A Different Set Of Choices Leads To…

I lie awake and think about how different my life could have been had I married my first boyfriend. Then, I think about my first boyfriend and how much of a “first marriage” that would have been and shudder with relief. Then, I realize that I am thinking about the relationship I had with a […] more…

The Double Shift

Cutie texted me last night, and like conjuring a genie with the rubbing of a lamp, so did he conjure me with the tap of an LED iPhone screen. As much as I don’t like to think of myself as someone who would change plans for the sake of a boy, travel out to the […] more…

Feeling Stoopy

Crowded subway. It’s rush hour. I’m still groggy from the nap I woke up from. I think I dragged my butt in to work in just about the slowest “get-ready-and-go” I have ever done in 15 minutes. At least, I felt slow when I reached for the conditioner for a second time in the shower […] more…

F*ck It All

While imagining the demise of all I hold near and dear as the uncertain anxiety-filled future looms over my head like an ever falling pendulum, ready to strike me in half at any minute, I came to the conclusion that the universe is telling me to: “Fuck it all, save some money, travel more, and […] more…

Not Feeling It

When one has to convince themselves that the person they are on a date with is really wonderful and attractive, one needs to take a step back from the situation and assess the real meaning of “I’m convincing myself that this is true!” …when actually, it really isn’t. In improv, a big lesson I’ve learned […] more…

What’s it Like to Grow Up Here?

How does one even begin to answer the question: “So what was it like to grow up, you?” It’s a pretty general question that says: “I’m fascinated by your upbringing, please tell me some really juicy detail about getting pregnant behind the school bleachers or about how you worked for the volunteer fire-fighters and saved […] more…

Pink Eye (Almost)

Me. 6:30am. 3 hours of sleep. Sitting bolt upright in bed: “Oh my god. I have Pink eye!!” (To no one in the room because sister is sleeping over at a friend’s.) Throwing blankets off of me, I run down the stairs to the bathroom and splash water on my face. I look in the […] more…

I Love Him/ I Love Him Not

My Interpretation of a Thought Gone Free… (Disclaimer: This is not a particular thought about anyone at the moment, just more of a compilation of thoughts I, and the women close to me in my life, have had in the past!) I love him. I love him not. I Think I love him!!! i love […] more…

Guilt Hangovers

I woke up this morning with what I call the “Guilt Hangover” I get it every time I have a couple drinks the night before, but didn’t get drunk. What happens is: I lie in bed staring at the beautiful crisp sunlight filtering in from my window and wonder why the hell I am not […] more…