I’ll Marry You If You Smell Like Fresh Bread

1. Fresh Baked Bread The smell of it! The taste! The texture! The melted butter and cool jam! Oh! I could stuff my face with fresh baked bread all day! If a man figured out how to spray himself with that just-out-of-the-oven smell  I would marry him. How could I resist? Well.. If you looked […] more…

First Kiss

The first time I ever kissed a boy was during a game of spin the bottle. I was 16. I was petrified of boys at 16. I had a group of friends I would hang out with occasionally and I remember the girls talking about the boys they had kissed, who they had crushes on, […] more…

Honest Bitches and Mouse Killers

1. Running While it is Raining Out I’m soaked. I’m sweating. I’m determined to get home. I’ve got Kanye West blasting in my ear buds. I run up to my front steps, take out my phone and see I’ve run an extra ten minutes more than I thought. Fuck. Yeah. 2. Bitches Gotta Be Honest […] more…

Slummy Narnia

***NOTE: I’m taking a break from the “Grateful For” list. I need to write other things, dammit!! It’s a rainy sunday afternoon, I’d say just about as stereotypical as a rainy Sunday can be. I walked downtown in the general direction of my job and decided to stop and have a late lunch somewhere cheap, […] more…

Entertainment, Eating, and the Gym

1. The Beatles I can listen to their songs over and over and sing along to every inflection and word and still feel like there are pieces I missed and am discovering for the first time. “Honey Pie” and “Martha My Dear” and “All You Need Is Love” are some of my favorites, but I […] more…

Favors, Warm Sensations, and Thoughtfulness

1. Getting Taken Out To Lunch/Dinner/Breakfast …Well, any meal really. I’ve done my fair share of “picking up the tab” when out on dates (by the way, I feel like I’ve done more of that than the average gal, why are so many dudes so damn broke!?) So, when I get taken out for a […] more…

Killing, Farting, Winning

1. Killing A Mosquito That Was Buzzing Around My Head Yup. Woke up at 4am this morning to the tell-tale signs of that little pest. My first thought: It’s December 4th, for crying out loud, what the hell is a Mosquito doing in my room? I switched on the light, saw that fucker land and […] more…

Silence, Melted Wax, Electronics, and People

1. Silence When loud music stops playing, and the dust settles, there is a certain wonder in the silence left behind. Whenever a set ends at work and I can close the cabaret down, I love to feel my shoulders relax and my head float a little instead of working hard to protect myself from […] more…

The "Grateful For" List

…As promised, the first of the series for December’s “Grateful For” List 1. No Line For The Bathroom. I can never underestimate the relief felt when I have to pee really, really bad and can zoom right in to a convenient potty. The best situations are when I have been out all day (say: walking […] more…

Positivity

I think the official “End of the Year” starts December 1st. It’s when the christmas countdown begins, it’s the last month of the year, it’s a time of short nights, the first day of winter, parties, spending, visiting, vacationing and depression. December is a month of reflection, it’s a time when I take a few […] more…

Confrontations

This past week has been a full on LetsGetThisOutInTheOpen-Fest. I didn’t plan to have all events stack up like they did, but, funny how in life it never just “rains” it “pours” all at once. I don’t feel comfortable telling someone I have a problem, I don’t feel secure enough that the problem I have […] more…

How To Be An Asshole: A Simple Beginner’s Guide.

*Disclaimer* Not everyone has the chops for being an incredibly self absorbed, shit-all-over-the-world jerk, so if you find any of these steps particularly difficult, then being an asshole may not be the proper path for you. Instead look up references for “How To Be Whiny” or “Ways To Annoy Everyone Around You (And Still Be Friends […] more…