Super Girl: The Super Turd

I just watched the new “Super Girl” trailer for CBS and I feel like I just partook in an ice bucket challenge.

“Oh I get it, you didn’t want to go out with me because you’re a lesbian!” says the heartthrobby geeky-but-not-too-geeky dude on a rooftop as “Super Girl” A.K.A.: Kara tries to tell him she saved a crashing plane the night before. This whole scene is stupid. The whole trailer is stupid. Am I supposed to be excited about network television throwing feminism a bone by creating this vapid, scantily clad hottie desperately trying to get laid by the office Alpha Male?

Or, what about stripping Super Girl of all of her accomplishments by having her seek the authority and advice of six foot tall hulk-like guys who talk in baritone registers as they dictate that all of her actions are what was planned out by her older and, dare I say, far superior cousin: Super Man.

Here’s a big FUCK YOU to whomever decided that this show was something marketable as “progressive”. Or that this trailer was not one raging insult of one-liners streaming out like cat piss on a rug. I think gems like:

“I’m a girl and your boss and powerful and rich and hot and smart. So if you perceive Supergirl as anything less than excellent, isn’t the real problem … you?” .

No. The problem is those kind of one-liners would crop up as the comic relief in a porno.

Women have worked very hard to close the wage gap, to assert their authority but not come off like a “bitch”, to raise kids, to run for goddamn president and, yet, the networks are still producing this absolute turd of a show where all it takes is a fart’s worth of wind to whip up Kara’s skirt and expose her perfectly sculpted butt cheeks.

But don’t worry, the protagonist is a female, shouldn’t that be enough? Nope. Give me a protagonist that doesn’t seek the approval of the men around her. Give me a woman that can attack a challenge and not go running back to her apartment to eat icecream and wait for her older sister to show up and braid her hair. I mean, come ON. How can we write alien dialogue and story lines in a movie like “District 9″ better than a female voice?

I’m so, so disappointed.

In case you are dying to see the trailer, here is a BRILLIANT comparison of the “Super Girl” trailer to a SNL parody:



May 13, 2015 at 11:49 pm by Natalie Allen