Photographing Us At Our Best

When a photographer comes to take photos of my home for advertising on an online website (and the pandemonium that ensues).


“Quick! scrub down the oven!”

“Move the boxes under the bed! Under the bed I said!!

“I need to grab all the scraps of paper off the floor and move them into a garbage can RIGHT NOW!”

“Stop! Please! I need your help lifting this… Oh God! Why do we own this? What the fuck?”

“Is he here yet? Is the photographer here!?”

“Where do I put this, Jackson? No! The bed’s full under there!”

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you. Come on in. Would you like something to drink? Don’t mind the gloves, sorry. Just… doing a bit of a clean up. Sorry about the laundry bag, I’ll just get that for you and move it… there! Well, we’ll let you get to taking some photos, then.”

“Could I see the photos?”


“Oh. Wow.”


“Jackson! Check these out! Let’s stay there! Ha! What a great looking place! Thank you so much for the pictures! I can’t wait to see them online! Thanks for coming! Bye!”


“I was worried the place wouldn’t be put together enough, but those shots looked amazing. I hope a ton of people want to rent the place, now.”

“Are you hot? Jesus. It’s hot.”

“I’ll pick up my dirty undies later. I’m gonna open the cabinets and try to find where I flung our towels.”



November 6, 2013 at 5:08 am by Natalie Allen