The blip-blop scoobity doo-da walla walla ding dong

What does it mean to be “dating” someone versus “seeing” someone versus having a “boyfriend”?

Where does one draw a line and declare that something is indeed happening with someone? There is no definitive word that can describe it all and one is left using a lot of vague hand gestures and facial expressions (usually involving a shrug) to try and give an idea about the complicated nature of what’s going on on a daily basis with another person. Who happens to be male. And not just a friend.

I’m single.
I’m single?
Wait… am I single?

So, single means I am a free agent. A gal who can look a guy in the eye and say “let’s do this” and not feel a shred of remorse about hurting anyone else’s feelings by making that choice.

And, therefore, by default, not being single means the opposite.

BUT WAIT! I don’t have a boyfriend! Therefore: no relationship! HA!

Nope: Single.
No… I’m… not single.

I feel a fear grip me in this regard. On the one hand: this complicated jumble of emotions toward another human being who also has complicated (or not) emotions toward me is exactly what I’ve wanted! And on the other hand: I’m still thinking with a single-gal brain! “He’s hot.” and “I’ll do you, once I’m drunk, though.” and “Can’t wait to flirt the hell out of the room.” All fly through my mind. I’ve also got: “You’ll hurt him.” and “He’ll let you down, eventually.” whizzing in my brain as well. Ouch.

My Mother told me to relax and live in the moment. “Enjoy yourself. Let it just be and have fun.” She said, scrolling through his Facebook profile pictures and exclaiming: “He’s Cute, Nat!” I felt myself relax a bit. She’s right. I’m trying to define a thing that’s a thing without a definition or name.

For now: I’m in a “blip-blop scoobity doo-da walla walla ding dong,” with The Musician.

I don’t know where it’s going, but *shrug* I’m enjoying myself.

June 12, 2013 at 5:25 am by Natalie Allen