Step A to D: A Stab at Success

In a recent conversation with my gym buddy, a “step-by-step” dating game system came into view for me. I can only write from the female perspective here, but here’s a rough idea of what I feel the levels of dating are, and once realized, I came to the conclusion that there is a recipe for success (reaching Step C or D).

Step A: The introductory/friendly step. It’s the step where we just chat at the bar after an event. We see each other at the gym. We hang out occasionally in groups. We chit-chat and gossip. That’s it.

Step B: That’s were we know each other better. We flirt. We hang out one on one. We surreptitiously graze each other with body parts. We make eye contact longer than necessary.

Step C: Can be anything physical. I think Step C involves a whole lot of letting the body “do the talking.”

Step D: (if there is one) is the relationship status change on facebook. Yep. We’re dating. Exclusively.

Reaching your desired Step is not overly complicated. If success were defined as the level you wanted to reach with a girl you’re interested in it’s important to note this procedure:

Do NOT have an obvious agenda. Don’t. There is no A leads to B leads to C, here. It’s really a matter of: “I’m fine with staying at Step A, however you want to define it. And I am not pushing for step B at all, in fact, you’d think I wouldn’t even have thought there was a step B.” And then you act super-duper busy and relaxed.

I think chicks love that shit. I know I subconsciously do.

Patience is an absolute. If interested in a girl, it’s important to note that the female in question can probably pick up what your intentions are. And there are a whole lot of guys out there that seem to think they’re giving off the “I’m a nice guy” vibe and are really walking around with a glaringly obvious “I want to do a Step C with you, so, so bad!” Plus, “Nice guys”? Who the hell are they, really?

Why are women seemingly attracted to the dicks? Because jerks are pretty damn good at staying at one level for a really long time. Like, the infuriating Step B level. If a hot guy I’m interested in stays at Step B for a long time: I’m Ga-Ga for him. Or, if a guy gets to Step C with me, then goes back to Step B and leaves me wondering when the hell I’ll ever hear from him and do Step C again; then I’m really hooked. It’s in those instances I start to imagine Step D with said guy.

When I get approached by a “nice” guy who really wants to hear everything I have to say and is super attentive I’ll treat them with a Step A attitude. Step A only. When I feel them move into Step B seemingly quickly, I’m thinking: No fucking way. But, a “nice” guy who stays in Step A at all times? Who is sweet to me and is a great friend, but I don’t feel threatened by or in any way like we’re moving toward something? Suddenly, he’s in Step B category, and then I’m jumping us into Step D in my mind.

Complicated? Yeah. Dating is.

February 14, 2013 at 5:53 am by Natalie Allen