Kismet: Part 2

I had a conversation with a friend a little while ago about the difference in the sexes and how they quantify the passing of time. A woman, in my opinion, can agonize and feel like a year will pass in five minutes. A Man? (although I am not one, so I can’t say for certain) seems to think that a month is like, 3 weeks which is like, only a few days, which is like, really just a few hours, so, it wasn’t that long since we were last in contact, right?

A woman will think: I haven’t heard from him in two days, I guess we’re done. Whatever. I didn’t like him that much anyway! I’m moving on. I’m going to look at every hottie I come across and imagine making out with them and hope that somehow the guy I am trying NOT to think about will somehow feel a disturbance in the “force” and will somehow remember to text me and see me again, and then I’ll tell him how much of a bum he is when he comes crawling back on his hands and knees (which will be the ONLY way I will every think of seeing him again!!)

A man will think: (I don’t really know) Blah blah blah blah blah. I’m just doing the task at hand. My mind is really not that complicated, but is only made complicated by the female lens you put over it. Wait. When was the last time I had sex? Mmmm. Sex. What was the name of that cute girl I saw a few hours ago? Oh, I should text her! Yeah! What a great idea!

Woman will get the text from the man. Crap. He wants to hang out. pshhht. Man, who? I wasn’t thinking about him… Okay, I was. But, when I see him, I’m gonna expect him to be super apologetic and sad about going so long without seeing me.

Man shows up at date. Blah. Blah. Blah. I’m a guy. Oh! Pretty girl! I like her.

Woman thinks: He’s so cute. Fine. I forgive you. I won’t tell you any of the agony I just went through the last month, nor will I correct you when you say it’s only been a whole week. I’ll let it go, because I am benevolent. I am forgiving. I like you more than you know. Or maybe you do know?

…Just, don’t let another month go by, please? I don’t want to be the annoying nag, here, but I’m confused. In my universe, if a week goes by: I write you off. If a month goes by: I assume you’re probably dead. And then, I decide to go off and explore my options. Unfortunately, I am such a sucker for cuties that I’ll let it slide if you reach out after a while. Although, here’s the new question forming in my mind: I’ve seen you a few times now over the course of two months… so, like, is this going somewhere?

Man thinks: …………….?

December 17, 2012 at 6:40 pm by Natalie Allen