Killing, Farting, Winning

1. Killing A Mosquito That Was Buzzing Around My Head

Yup. Woke up at 4am this morning to the tell-tale signs of that little pest. My first thought: It’s December 4th, for crying out loud, what the hell is a Mosquito doing in my room? I switched on the light, saw that fucker land and killed the hell out of it. I feel a slight rush whenever I murder a creature in such a brutal way as smashing it, and sometimes (like in the case of, say, an ant or a spider) I feel guilty, but when it comes to Mosquitos I have very little sympathy.

2. Not Running Over Cute Kittens

I can’t emphasize how lucky I feel to not have to worry about this. I don’t own a car. I don’t have a cat that could run outside very easily, and I don’t drive very often. All of these factors make the likelihood of this terrible event very minimal in my life. If I ever did run over a cute kitten… I don’t know if I could live it down.

3. Scoring Free Stuff

Like, I went on craigslist last night and spent over an hour looking at free stuff. All that stuff just needs to be picked up! I know people say that nothing is truly free, but after looking at all the possibilities out there, I feel like I could probably get a really great deal. I am always wowed by people who take full on garbage and make furniture out of it, now that’s really taking whatever the universe is throwing out and recycling it. I don’t find that kind of patience in me, but I sure appreciate the effort and work it takes to do that. I will also gladly look at your post on craigslist and wonder if it’ll fit in my living room.

4. Whenever The Sun Breaks Through The Clouds

I feel an “Ah-Ha!” moment every time the slate grey of the sky is broken and the sun pours through. The sun always makes me feel happy, especially when I am denied seeing it and then surprised by it’s entrance. I also love watching the sun crest over a hill, or begin to shine in my room in the morning. To wake up to the warmth and bright rays makes me feel good about waking up. Whenever I have to wake up in the rain I find it particularly difficult.

5. Having A Chance To Fart

I cannot emphasize how grateful I am to have this opportunity without anyone around to bear witness. It’s a wonderful thing.

December 4, 2012 at 4:23 pm by Natalie Allen