The Fine Line

I am grappling with the “fine line” or, the time frame best suited when I can tell myself that, yes, I am dating someone. My understanding is that there is a moment when you are both on the same page and one person may just come out and state that they want to be exclusive with their partner. Then the relationship can go from causal to “Fo’ Real.”

I have an uncanny ability to jump to “Fo’ Real-zies” pretty quickly, and then, upon second thought, jump back to “What the fuck? Who are you really?” once I realize that they were not the person I thought I was causally seeing when we were meeting up once a week. Like, for instance, that person may be really secretive about how much they really like to sleep in in the mornings and how lazy they want to be on their times off. I have no problem with that, except I am a pretty bouncy person who wants to be active so that doesn’t jive with me so well. Or, when a person one starts to really date begins to unload all their emotional baggage the minute the door shuts and one realizes that the calm and collected person they thought they knew is actually a wreck behind closed doors. Etc.

I’m a pretty big romantic and I think I fall hard for just about anybody I wind up seeing more that three times. This time, however, with Kismet (I’ve now seen him 3 times) I’m going to take a more steady and inquisitive track: Let’s hang out outside of the bedroom and see how we do when sex isn’t the only entree on the table. I invited him out to see a museum. I know that for many people this would be the opposite way to approach dating. I feel like the “good girl” in me would be horrified to know that I had spent a couple nights sleeping over at a guy’s apartment before even considering getting to that second or third date before “putting out”. Please. This is 2012. I don’t need to wear a skirt and I don’t need to be chaste.

I think Kismet and I are making strides toward something definable. Any time I hang out with a person and we make future plans to see each other again is a pretty solid reason to believe that maybe we are working toward that “fine line” of definition.

Who knows? I am enjoying myself and I plan to continue to do so.

November 16, 2012 at 8:23 pm by Natalie Allen