Monogamy in Singledom

I had a conversation with my best friend the other night and we both agreed that we were monogamous types, even if the person we are seeing is not in the category of “relationship.” I thought this was an interesting character choice given that there are no guide lines to being single and there are, technically, no rules that say you are cheating if you sleep with someone else or date someone else while seeing someone semi-regularly.

I find “swinging” from one person to the next and then back again as something I don’t think I could have the heart to do. I know a lot of people who have done it, and I don’t judge them, but I look at the idea of seeing a person as my “moment” in my life where I am feeling that guy out. I am testing the waters, understanding what little I can make out from them, and then: moving on. Oh, and also: the people who can swing are pretty unbelievable with their luck sometimes. How can you find several hotties all at once who want to sleep with you? I guess I’m super picky, but I have never been in that situation where I simply can’t┬ákeep my hands off of everyone I meet. Then again, I haven’t spent a lot of time in Amsterdam, but from the few days I have, I may run into that problem (DAMN those men are GORGEOUS!)

The biggest hurdle I come across is how easily I fall for a guy once I’ve seen him more than twice. Suddenly I imagine what a future with this person would feel like and I place them in different scenarios (like: Travel) and decide whether or not, based on the knowledge I have of them, if I would like to spend that time doing those activities with them. If not, well, thanks for the romp, and breakfast was great!

Every time I meet someone new I am that much more knowledgeable about what I like and dislike in a partner. I am introduced to a new personality, a new background, new emotional baggage (or lack of emotional-anything), and… all else pertaining to a man. So, whenever I decide I am over someone and it is time to move on, and I do, I can’t go back to that other person and still expect the relationship I had with them to be the same. It just won’t be. So I don’t.

I’ve decided in the last meeting with Kismet that if he wants this to go further, he’ll need to text me and make the effort to see me again. I haven’t heard from him in over a week and at this point: I’m moving forward. Womp Womp. Onward!

November 25, 2012 at 8:38 pm by Natalie Allen