The "Uh Oh" List

I thought about other people I would really not want to run in to: there weren’t many. Usually I don’t mind seeing someone I know out in public, and usually I get along with most everyone I meet, so thankfully there isn’t an army of humans that would make me run for the hills if I saw them. However, I’m sure we all have those 5 or 6 people that would be at the top of the “Please Don’t Be Where I Am Right Now, Ever” list.

I went invisible last night. I used my mundane superpower by holding my breath, sucking on my lower lip, looking down at the floor and slowing my pace. I did NOT want the person I had spotted coming toward me to stop and talk to me, or see me or even think about me. I sent a silent prayer to whomever was listening at the moment and begged them to let him walk past me. He did. I don’t know for sure if he saw me, I don’t want to know, but I did find it funny that we happened to be on the same street at the same time (2am, by the way. What the hell?)

I find it amazing that someone I saw romantically and physically for a while, someone that I devoted a lot of time and energy toward could walk past me on a busy New York street and we could just miss each other. In fact, I wanted him to keep going! That chapter is so done, dude.

I giggled nervously after he passed and allowed myself to become visible again. I took a deep breath and marveled at the power of thought. I’d been thinking about him a lot lately, actually. He’d been coming up in conversations and memories and I wondered if I had conjured him, and that the person I saw walking toward me was just a ghost. I recalled his features: he looked pissed off, annoyed, or concentrating on some big thought. Maybe the ghost of the guy was frustrated that I had woken him up and demanded that he be on the street so late at night.

I am awed by the way events unfold and history loops and people come back into our lives for different reasons. Seeing Him last night made me wonder if I’ll run in to other people I really don’t want to see, and that by running in to them I’d have some kind of closure, as if, maybe I was the ghost stuck in purgatory and seeing a few people on my “Uh-Oh” list would help me come out of my limbo. I have one or two guys that I am very curious about running in to, even though they are still on my “Come Not Near Me!” side. If I did see them coming toward me, I wonder who would be more freaked? Them or Me? Maybe we’d both become invisible…

October 6, 2012 at 7:06 pm by Natalie Allen