The Double Shift
Cutie texted me last night, and like conjuring a genie with the rubbing of a lamp, so did he conjure me with the tap of an LED iPhone screen.
As much as I don’t like to think of myself as someone who would change plans for the sake of a boy, travel out to the middle of Brooklyn at 2am, (knowing that I have to wake up early the next morning for a double at work) and have nothing on me but a small clutch with a few essential items, like, my keys to keep me company: I am that girl.
Here is where I like to draw a line of distinction though: this is not me traveling out to Williamsburg and then subsequently Crown Heights for a “Dominos Pizza” chow-down-a-thon. I have definitely found a new person whose traits are nothing like the other people I have dated, and I like that. I chalked Cutie up for a one-night only event and therefore felt the stakes of what could or couldn’t happen between us drop. So, I was pretty thrown off by the fact that he wanted to see me again, but I felt I had the upper hand in that I didn’t really give a rats ass as to what this could or could not mean in the “ohmigawd grand course of my life ohmigawd.”
And my day leading up to the “I’m at the bar we met at right now” text from him was a very fulfilling and exciting day, Guy Free! I’d worked out for the first time in a week (no more cold, yay!), I did laundry (feeling fresh :) ) and then I had my first improv class show for UCB’s Level 401. I followed the class by getting drunk and bonding with the cast, and then I thought I would round out the evening by keeping the buzz going with my best friend as we walked all over mid-town talking about guys and girls and stupid people. It was a great day! And then: Cutie decided to make it even better.
I’ll be honest: as I am writing this blog, I feel exhausted right to my bones. I got about 3 hours of sleep, worked 12 hours straight and am now finally home to realize I still haven’t folded my clean clothes that are now winking at me from the other end of my bed. OK, fair enough, I deserve this, seeing as I made the conscious decision to partake in some delicious desert to my full course meal of a day, rather than do any of the dishes that are very visibly piling up. But, meh, worth it!
I don’t really know where Cutie and I are going, if there needs to be any direction to this, if I want any direction to this, but I do know that as much as I bitched and moaned about my feet hurting and feeling really wiped at work, I smile with the not-so-sectret knowledge that it was all for the sake of throwing late night evening plans to the wind and taking an opportunity I am not sorry I took. Plus, the work outfit I had to buy at American Apparel this morning looks really good on me (I only had the same clothes from the night before to wear to my shift!)
I like to think this whole experience is more of a symbolic step of upgrading to a way of feeling more confident about myself and the people I allow into my life. I like this better than scared, lonely and worried 24 year old I was when I met Dominos and Serendipity, that was putting too much stake in those two! Screw that! (no pun intended)
October 1, 2012 at 5:47 am by Natalie Allen