Pent Up

I can’t stand being cooped up in the apartment much longer. I feel cut off from the rest of the world, as if there are islands of people I know and love and in order to get to them I’d have to swim (or, in this case, walk) a really long way. New York without public transportation is like being a marathon runner whose fallen flat on his face during a race.

I miss the freedom of being able to go outside and be outside all day and do whatever I like, like see improv shows and visit friends. Being inside has made me restless to the point of wanting to do stupid things just to keep myself entertained with the possible outcomes of said stupidity. Like, all I can think about is wanting to text Kismet. I don’t even know what to say! “How about the weather recently, huh? heh heh, I really like you. HA! Joking! But, not if you like me too.” Fuck. Even if I were to get a conversation going I don’t know how we’d meet up. It’d be such a heroic force of will (going from Manhattan to Queens right now is pretty hard).

I’m getting frustrated even while watching the animated series called Avatar, an anime from 2005 that I’ve recently discovered as my new obsession. (It’s a fantastic show!) In it, among other amazing plot lines, two of the main characters have a lot of feelings for one another and they dance around the subject of confessing their love. I keep watching this tantalizing love dance and almost pull my hair out from the angst it is causing me! Then, on top of that my room mate has his girlfriend staying with us and listening to the two of them giggle in the next room as I try really hard not to listen and feel obnoxious about my existence, is, well, the aftermath the hurricane has provided for me to deal with.

I need to get out of the house! I want my life back! C’mon New York! Let’s get back on our feet and move again! And Kismet: Show me a sign! I’m dying for attention over here!

October 31, 2012 at 3:40 pm by Natalie Allen