I hung up the phone and lay back on my bed, thinking about my life as a movie. This would be the part where the sad, yet inspirational music plays as the camera slowly moves in to frame my face. I’m staring up at the ceiling, ooh, dramatic.
I replayed the scene from the night before in my head again: There I am, sitting on the platform for the N train at 1:45am. It’s cold, but I’ve got my big brown winter jacket on. The only other things on the platform is a man coughing in the distance and a pile of fresh vomit. I sank into the bench and waited for the train to take me home. I had left a party to come out to Queens and meet Dominos. No such luck. After inviting me to come, he fell asleep and didn’t answer my call or text. It didn’t take a lot of sleuthing to figure out he must have passed out. Great.
The wind was bitter, so I didn’t feel like I had to be. I just sat there and my mind was very made up: Fuck this guy. I’ve gotten all I can get from him. I don’t have to forgive him (Like I’ve done for other guys in the past) and I don’t have to see him again. I don’t owe him anything. The “N” train pulled in and I got on and went home.
It’s a curious coincidence, however, that 2 years ago, almost to the day, My ex and I broke up. We’d dated on and off for about 4 years, and the knock down drag out of a break up culminated in a somewhat anti-climactic phone call where I stammered and stuttered that I didn’t think we were right for each other. The conversation I had with Dominos felt very similar in many ways, expect it was “Natalie Breaking Things Off on a Phone: 2.0″ I felt clear in what I wanted to say and I felt honest. BOOM. Thankyouverymuch, have a nice life. I had just told Dominos that I deserve better. Really. I said the word “deserve.” I’m learning to speak the language of Natalie. How exciting!
The slow inspirational music changes to a flashy 80’s throwback and the lead gets off of her bed, walks into the living room and in a montage of slow-mo happiness all the boys (who had been in the living room the whole time, and prior to the phone call, told her that this guy had to go) in the house give her high fives and “way-to-go’s!” and “Fuck that guy!” The movie ends with the girl smiling and eating some Oreo cookies with the fellas as everything settles back down. The lead says: “Yeah, you guys are right! I shouldn’t put up with bad chain store pizza!”
Everyone laughs and the credits role. The End.
January 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm by Natalie Allen