I guess it’s the time to make resolutions you don’t intend to keep past February.

Last night I sat up in bed and wrote out a list of things I wanted to accomplish this year. Above my head is a big white board hanging on my wall, it’s filled with brightly colored pieces of paper with a bunch of goals that I’ve written throughout the year on them. If an outside observer were to walk to the foot of my bed and snap a shot, I’d say it’d be a study in irony. What makes January 4th so damn special for writing new versions of the same goals hanging over my head?
What’s a resolution, anyway?
I resolve to… what? To… lose weight? To fall in love? To Travel? To like the color Purple more because it goes great with my eyes? As I was writing all these bullet points I couldn’t help but feel pretty uninspired. Laaaaaammmee goals. What do they really mean? Honestly: Where my life is right now is a goal I made years ago that I’ve met. Yay me! But: it took much longer than twelve measly months to accomplish.
One of my best friends and I walked all over downtown Manhattan tonight. We talked about previous and current partners. We talked about our mutual friends and the crazy shit our families have done. We even talked about what it means to (currently) be an actor in New York City at the age of 24/5. One thing we both thoroughly agreed on was: goals don’t accomplish themselves in weeks and months. Long term ones, anyway. Sure, one can lose weight in three weeks, but a long term goal of changing a lifestyle, going to the gym more, drinking less and eating better? That takes a lot of time and dedication that I don’t think can fully be realized in a year. I’ve spent my whole life thinking in terms of days and weeks, and now I have an entire existence on this Earth to think of. That means expanding the brain to think more in terms of Months and Years. Simultaneously that is beautiful and scary.
But, as for my resolutions, (because tradition is tradition, and I’ve been writing resolutions since I learned to write) I’ve gotten a few down that I think are accomplishable between now and December 31st, 2012. One of them is to keep this blog stocked with written entries. Go the distance. I toyed with the idea of writing everyday, but then thought better of that. So, I compromised, I resolve to try and write at least two entries a week. That means 104 entries by the end of the year. Whew! That’s a pretty decent amount of written work! I’m looking forward to it.
Oh… And Domino’s texted me tonight. Uh oh.

January 5, 2012 at 4:52 am by Natalie Allen