Boyfriend Interviews

I feel like I’ve now come to a new phase in the search for I-Don’t-Know-What from the online dating world. My inbox is getting swelled every day by more and more messages, some more choice that others. (Hi Ms. Candy, How’s it going?) Yesterday I was supposed to go on another double-decker date day. I cancelled both dates. The first was supposed to be with Ben (the guy who tried to kiss me in the subway) and the second was a first date with a guy I was going to have a picnic with down in Brooklyn. Honestly, going on more than four dates in a week is fun, at first, but now that I’ve rolled in to week 2 I’ve decided to slow down, and maybe by week three I’ll stop all together.
Not to say that I feel like this was in any way a waste of time or was not good for a few laughs, but each new person I meet feels more and more like an interview.
Me: So, what do you for a living?
Guy A: I’m and actor.
B:I’m in marketing
C: I’m an entrepreneur.
D: I’m unemployed and laughing about it.
Me: Oh! That sounds really nice. I’m currently doing this, this and that.
Guy A: Wow. You sound really busy. How awesome.
B: You know, it’s funny you should mention that…
C: (Silence) That’s cool.
D: Haha! Me too!
Me: You’re originally from :________? What brought you to New York?
Guy A: Love.
B: Life.
C: A Job.
D: I want to make it big, and since I’m a creative type it made sense to come here.
Me: Do you travel often?
Guy A: Yes! I’ve been everywhere from London to Timbuktu.
B: Um. Yeah, I visit home a lot.
C: Oy, geeze I really wish I could but I’m just so busy.
D: Did you hear about what happened in Sweden?
Me: …um, you mean Norway? (idiot.)
I don’t mind getting the e-mails either. Sometimes its nice to come home after a long day and check the inbox for ego-inflating messages about my freckles or my smile or how cute it is that I like watermelon. Pecs_and_the_city called me Candy. Catsdotbiz said he thought I was “original and Oh, so refreshing”. Last night I got a message from a guy in Venezuela who asked what the hell I was doing on OKCupid; that a girl like me should just walk into a room and wink at someone and that’ll save me a lot of time.
If only it were that simple. For now, though, I think I’ll wean myself off the nice e-mails and go back to being more of an anonymous chick_in_the_city and let random chance sort out my dating life. Job interviews are exhausting enough on their own. Boyfriend interviews? Ugh. I think I’ll try my hand at winking again.

July 29, 2011 at 5:49 pm by Natalie Allen